Piet when we met in December of 1988 you were Jan's best friend. Your lovely warm and sincere personality made me like you straight away and we became friends.

I was especially impressed by your honesty, maturity, wisdom, great sense of humour and of course that spectacular backflip you did.

Through the years, you and Tania spent many (almost every) weekend at our place, whether it was at the old farmhouse in Redhill or the house in Wynberg, later University Estate and then at our house in Darling.

The times we visited you and Tania in Woodstock were memorable, especially the lovely meals you cooked.

I remember after Christiaan was born, the many quite emotional discussions we would have about our children, me about Tron, and you about Christiaan, how we discussed our incredible love for our children, how we feared that harm would come to them and bragging together about how special our kids were and how utterly committed we were to being good and loving parents.

I remember that it was you who cooked good meals for Christiaan, that you were the one who dressed him, that you were the one who tidied the house and who kept the feeling of a family going, whilst Tania of course could speak of nothing else but her work at the gym.

It was with great sadness that I witnessed how she destroyed you, when she discovered drugs, ecstasy and cocaine, around 1996.

The many nights she did not come home, the secret phone calls and the sudden hatred she showed towards you.

You cried to me many times of the neighbours that called you to tell you that she was taking strange men to your home in Goodwood, while you were at work.

I remember how she herself confided in me, that she was having an affair with that russian sounding guy at the gym (also a married man), and about the drug and sex orgies she had at rave parties, and how much she liked it, and she of course rationlised it by saying that she got married to young and it was her right to experiment now, before she got to old. (but it was her who had insisted to move in with you and it was her who insisted that you get married.)

I cannot and will not forget the horror of what she has done to you. How she fucked all your male friends and convinced everyone and her family, that you were a drinking monster, when all the time it was her, who was on a drug and sex orgy, fucking every man that came her way.

What made me angrier than anything (besides the fact that she fucked my husband as well and has caused the eventual breakdown of our marriage) is that she then took your son away from you.

You, who were the one who gave Christiaan your undevided attention, you were the one who cooked good meals for him, (in all the years we knew you, Tania had never cooked even one meal), you were the one who really had Christiaan's welfare and well being at hand. ( I remember coming around the corner of our home in Darling, to catch Tania going on like a common wretched out of control thing, screaming, almost hissing at Christiaan and smacking him, (she wanted to have a nap)I was shocked.

She destroyed you utterly, framing you, took you child away and basically left you in a state of extreme trauma from which I'm afraid you have never recovered. Piet you did enjoy your beer, but you were never the hopeless alcoholic she made you out to be.

Piet, I am sorry that this horrible thing was done to you, by a person so selfish and so egocentric, and so utterly despicable.

Piet, know this, that I stand witness to the events that caused your breakdown and I know the ugly truth of what was done to you, I will not let it pass.

Piet, your love for Christiaan will be conveyed to him, he will eventually find out the truth, I promise you this my good friend.

I write this with a deep sadness, I too seek closure, but some hurts go so deep, they cannot be healed.

Some of us are too full of love, empathy, honesty and sincerity and we hurt, oh how we hurt, when those we loved stick knives in our fragile souls and keep twisting it.

I will not forget Piet, I promise.